Football Champions

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Difficult though it may be to see him atop the sport’s most powerful acronym, Sepp Blatter still remains the gift that keeps on giving. The man’s motormouth is a 365 day-a-year Santa Claus, bestowing us with gifts under the tree, never a hint of oversaturation, on all topics.

Yesterday the world’s press sat down with Sepp and he touched on the all-important subject: sodomy.

(Link’s kosher – promise.)


Apart from the searing temperatures expected during the finals time of June and July, there could also be other problems with hosting the competition in an Islamic country. Gay groups fear problems in a country where homosexuality is illegal.

When asked about such issues, Blatter, apparently joking, said: “I would say they should refrain from any sexual activities.”

Sepp then turned to the audience and offered up an accepted alternative to sodomy via hand gesture:

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Should this not suffice, he outlined maximum parameters for the quiet enjoyment of said activities.

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Sepp then asked for silence so that he could enter into a state of visualization, and the room quickly emptied.

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